I will skip what year it was...lets just say cell phones were not smart,you paid for texts, and way before 9/11 and thank God twitter and Facebook was not around. That being said after unsuccessful attempts at getting a job as a Geologist in WV where I grew up and taking one graduate level class and hating it was time to come up with a new plan. My plan was to solicit an obligated family member to allow me to relocate and move in with them. That family member would be, my brother Al. He was in the Air Force and stationed in Charleston, SC. In the interest of getting to the good stuff I will skip what you can read on my resume and details on moving...on to meeting Tammy and Brandy. I met Tammy and Brandy through friends of my brother. Tammy was in the Air Force and Brandy's husband was too. When we first met we just became instant friends like we had know each other for years. Tammy had just gotten married and Brandy got married crazy young...but we were still all young 20 somethings and no kids.
Tammy after she got married moved into an apartment complex with a pool. Needless to say this became our hangout. This is where I met "Mr. Big". Sadly I can not recall his real name, just that he looked like Mr. Big from Sex In the City and that became our name for him. After several days of stalking, spying, and hours at the pool our three great minds figured out where he lived (just so happened you could see into his Apt. from the pool). We kept trying to "run" into him at the pool, but by the time Tammy could get a hold of me to let me know he was there by the time I could get to the pool he would be gone already. So one Saturday as we are laying out by the pool we notice Mr. Big sitting at a table in front of his window reading. As time passed he would take a break, but then go back to his book. He was not gonna come to the pool so we needed to figure out an excuse to knock on his door, Tammy and I came up with some crazy elaborate excuses from needing to test his water (I worked in a waste water treatment lab at that time) to oops sorry I thought so and so lived here. I tell Tammy it's time to call in reinforcement. I called my Mom from my new brick of a cell phone and filled her in on the situation. She came up with a simple yet perfect plan. Just knock on his door tell him we saw him from the pool and it looked like he could use a break and take him a beer. Mom's know everything.
With beer in hand from Tammy's fridge and her encouragement of potentially making a complete ass out of myself...I walked up the stairs to his Apt. knocked on the door. I delivered my lines and the beer...added my own line of he should join us at the pool. He politely informs me he doesn't drink, but he would join us at the pool. True to his word he joins us a little while later. I find out he is in medical school (score) and pretty much didn't hear much after that. It was all I could do to keep my cool. He has to go back to studying , but asks what I had going on that night. I tell him that Tammy and our friend Brandy planned on going to this bar down town. He tells us maybe I will see you there tonight. I was feeling very cocky now.
That night we go to a few bars first before ending up at the bar we said we were going to be at...but no sign of Mr. Big. As it got later and later Tammy, Brandy, and I got drunker and drunker.
Note: Brandy's husband worked the night shift at the Air Force Base and we just had to call him to pick us up. We never drove drunk. We were highly responsible drunks. More on Bra Laws in another post.
I had given up on Mr Big showing up. I even declared to my girlfriends while we were in the bathroom that he wasn't coming and it was probably a good thing considering the current state of intoxication I was in and that he doesn't drink. As we are leaving the bathroom I turn and just so happen to run into Mr. Big. I mean that literally. I walked right into him. I attempt to act sober. As the bar closes instead of calling Brandy's husband he offers to give us a ride home since we were going to Tammy's anyway.
We arrive at that Apt. complex not wanting the night with Mr Big to end. I tell him I had been having ear pain and thought I might have swimmers ear. As I was counting on, he offers to take a look. I go to his Apt. while I tell Tammy and Brandy I will be over in a little while. They knew very well I had no intention of seeing them anytime soon. I am trying to be all cool and sober. Tammy and Brandy decide its a good time to go swimming and "make sure I was safe". That was really an excuse for them to comments from the pool as to suggest I was getting lucky with Mr. Big. I have to admit it gave us something more to talk about then my ear. Mr. Big and I talked for a while and for the record I fell asleep did not pass out and nothing happened. Honest.
The next morning I am feeling the effects of all that I drank. He offers to give Tammy and I a ride back downtown to get her car since he was going to the gym. As I am waiting on him to get his gym clothes. I look at the pictures he has framed on the shelf and he comes over and points out who is who..then I ask if the very gorgeous girl that looks better than Barbie, is his sister, which he replies that was his ex girlfriend COME ON REALLY??. GAME OVER . There was no way I could compete with the memory of that! Come on! I am in my 20's and could pass for for a kid in junior high. I borrow clothes from Tammy and the three of us are on our way. All is fine until I really need to throw up. Did I mention the part of throwing up earlier at Mr. Big's and again at Tammy's? Yeah I did..and it was before I saw the Super Model Ex. The downside of a good night of drinking before I had kids and would turn bright red and splotchy. Mr. Big pulls over at a gas station where I immediately proceed to the bathroom to vomit again.
After I get back from throwing up I notice there was a shift in the cars atmosphere and Tammy is strangely quiet. We make it to Tammy's car. We thank him...tell him well see him around..blah blah. Before I get a chance to tell Tammy about my rather boring night with Mr Big, that.nothing happened, and his magazine cover of an ex...she starts laughing so hard she is in tears.
It seems Mr. Big while I was off puking expresses to Tammy seriously concerned that he is worried that I have drinking problems asks her if I am an alcoholic. She did tell him no. I don't think he believed her. It then occurred to me up until that point it seemed beer was common factor...drinking at the pool and drunk as skunk later that night. To add more to this story and to solidify his belief that I am an alcoholic it seemed for weeks after that no matter where I went or what I was doing if I had a drink in my hand it never failed I would run into Mr. Big. It is not like I was a big drinker. I drank mainly on Fridays or Saturdays. The best part of the story is the first time I am to meet Kevin's parents was at an Oyster Roast that was hosted by the accounting firm where his Mom was a partner. Needless to say I am nervous. Guess who I run into at the oyster roast just as I opening my beer. Yes it was Mr Big!
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