In Search of Something more…..

I figure if I just blog about being a Brewer’s wife  I imagine you  will get  really bored really fast.  Especially since most of it would me complaining and whining about not enough time with Kevin, not enough time for me to do what I want to do, not enough time for the kids, and not enough time to do the stuff that needs to get done around the house that needs to be done.   So with that  I thought about telling you about our neighbor s when we lived in Atlanta.   This is how I learned that there is something bigger than ourselves and that events in our lives and the people that come into our lives have meaning and serve a purpose.   It’s being able to look back on the good and bad and seeing the big picture.

When Kevin and I first moved into our house in Atlanta I didn’t think that much about our neighbors house, well because I grew up in WV.   Having a junky yard was normal and didn’t everyone have a car or two that did not run parked in the driveway.    We met those junky yard neighbors Sue and Lloyd when they introduced why their house looked the way it did it seemed Sue was in remission from breast cancer and Lloyd’s job of installing I think alarm systems kept him on the road.    They had two grown children that lived out of state. We met the first day we moved in when they asked if it was ok they keep their satellite dish on house since the trees in their yard blocked the reception.   One day I cooked to much dinner for Kevin and I and noticed Lloyd was out of town.  I took some over to Sue and soon this became a frequent thing.

A symbiotic relationship of sorts grew between Sue and I.  She missed being close to her daughter and I missed being close to my Mom.   My Mom was in WV and I worried about her all the time since my father passed away she lived alone.    Sue was so excited when I had Nate and even more excited with Mason.  The boys became her grandsons since neither one of her children had kids.   It was shortly after Mason turned one is when we decided to make the move to Savannah.   It was around that same time that we learned Sue had developed lung cancer.  I was having such extreme guilt and anxiety of over leaving Sue.   Who would cook for her?  

We put our house on the market shortly after  Kevin took the job with Army Corps of Engineers.  It would be almost a year before we would sell the Atlanta  house.   During that time Kevin spent 8 months living with his brother in Savannah and would drive back to Atlanta on the weekends.    It was not an easy time.   I had two small children and had to keep the house looking nice.  If it had not been  for  Sue and the wonderful women Delimi that was really the one that kept my house looking nice  I would have had a mental break down the first month Kevin was gone.  

During those 8 months we had one sale fall through and Sue had started undergoing chemotherapy treatments.    My work schedule was set up so that I had every other Friday off.   Those Fridays became Sue and I’s get away days.   Sue and I would go out to thrift stores and out to lunch.   We shared a lot with each other on those Friday’s.  Sue began to heal a rift that had grown between her and her daughter and she was my sounding board of all the stress of having Kevin so far away.   Many nights Sue would come over and have dinner followed by rocking Nate and watching Sponge Bob  while I would feed Mason and put him to bed.   It became  a comfortable loving routine for both of us. 

Our house finally found it’s new  owners.    Sue was getting sicker and my anxiety of leaving her was growing.    I told Kevin before we left  to meet with the buyers and sign all the closing documents that we needed to tell them about Sue and taking her dinner.   Kevin told me they would think I was crazy.   As we set down with the buyers and the attorney went off to make copies of something we  started making small talk.   I almost jumped out of my seat  with excitement when they told us they were both preachers.  That is all I needed before I blurted out everything about Sue.   I truly found comfort knowing they would be living next door to Sue.  It felt right.   When Kevin I returned from the closing and packing up the rest of our stuff to head south Lloyd came over to let us know that Sue had to stay in hospital do to an infection and not to worry they would come down to visit soon.   I talked to Sue on the phone and sent her flowers telling her to make sure she kept up with SpongeBob.    

A couple of weeks  after we moved into a rental house I sent  her  a card so she would have our new information.  The day after I mailed the card Lloyd called Kevin to let him know that Sue had passed away.  I was devastated.

A few days later I called Sue and Lloyds daughter Noel.  The moment I heard  Noels voice I just started bawling.   She sounded just like her mother.  Noel  told me of the last few weeks of her life and that she had pictures of Nate and Mason with her and would tell everyone they were her grandsons.   Sue had confided in me on one of Fridays that she was afraid of dying.   I told her the following “Sue  everyone is afraid, your afraid because it’s not your time.  When your time comes you won’t be afraid you will be ready to go”  I am not sure  why I said that, maybe because that is what I hope it will be like for me I guess.    I took great comfort when Noel spoke of how her brother had come from California to be with them and they were all together.  She also told me of the ambulance guy that gave  Sue so much comfort when  they transported her to the hospital the first time and how when it came time to transfer her to the hospice care that in all of the ambulance personnel in the greater Atlanta area it would be that same guy that would take her to hospice.    We laughed and cried a lot.   

After I hung up the phone I took a deep breath knowing that Sue was happy at the end because she  was surrounded by her husband and Children that she was so proud of and loved so deeply .   It was at that moment I became so overwhelmed and amazed at how there was something  at work that was much bigger than I could have ever imagined.  Things happened just like it was supposed to happen the good and the bad.   The first sale was supposed to have to failed.  Kevin being gone gave Sue the chance to be more than just a neighbor to the boys and to know what it would feel like to be a grandmother.   The preachers that bought our house gave such a peace of mind to move without fear or guilt.    I was able to fill in for Noel and look after her Mom like I would want someone to look after my Mom if she was going thru what Sue was going thru.   I was not meant to be there in the end with Sue.  That was her time with her family.  It was Sue’s time to make peace with dying.   Sue never returned to the house without us next door. 

I have come to believe that there are angels  that are sent  to earth to help, but I also believe that we are also used by God/Allah/Jehovah…whatever you believe in  its all one in the same….to  be angels to help or be helped by others.   I have found that if I feel like I need to talk to someone or do something for someone I no longer worry about if they think I am totally crazy I just do it.  Kevin thought I was crazy the first time I suggested taking dinner over to Sue.  It is when you don’t listen to that inner voice and later wishing that you had.    So the next time you feel compelled to talk to a total stranger you should, you may hear something you needed to know or be the comfort or words that someone else needed to hear.    Try  a little experiment and do the pay it forwarded thing.   It is an easy thing to do that has  potentially huge impact on yourself or them.  It could be something as simple as dropping a coin in an expired meter or  unbelievable journey that started with making  a little extra dinner for a neighbor that is alone. 

 God bless Sue she liked my cooking.  I used to tease her that chemo meds killed her taste buds along with cancer.